Children of the Eighties
On January 21, 1998, I got this message... and I think some of you
might like this!
We are the children of the Eighties. We are not the first "lost
generation" nor today's lost generation; in fact, we think we know
just where we stand - or are discovering it as we speak. We are the
ones who played with Lego Building Blocks when they were just
building blocks and gave Malibu Barbie crewcuts with safety scissors
that never really cut. We collected Garbage Pail Kids and Cabbage
Patch Kids and My Little Ponies and Hot Wheels and He-Man action
figures and thought She-Ra looked just a little bit like I would
when I was a woman. Big Wheels and bicycles with streamers were
the way to go, and sidewalk chalk was all you needed to build a city.
Imagination was the key. It made the Ewok Treehouse big enough for
you to be Luke and the kitchen table and an old sheet dark enough to
be a tent in the forest.
Your world was the backyard and it was all you needed. With your
pink portable tape player, Debbie Gibson sang back up to you and
everyone wanted a skirt like the Material Girl and a glove like
Michael Jackson's. Today, we are the ones who sing along with Bruce
Stringsteen and The Bangles perfectly and have no idea why, and
know all the Minni Pops. We recite lines with the Ghostbusters and
still look to The Goonies for a great adventure. We flip through T.V.
stations and stop at The A Team and Knight Rider and Fame and laugh
with The Cosby Show and Family Ties and Punky Brewster and what you
talkin' 'bout Willis? We hold strong affections for The Muppets
and The Gummy Bears and why did they take the Smurfs off the air?
and the Dukes!!!
After school specials were only about cigarettes and step-families,
the Polka Dot Door was nothing like Barney, and aren't the Power
Rangers just Voltron reincarnated? We are the ones who still read
Nancy Drew and the Hardy Boys, the Bobbsey Twins, Beverly Clearly,
Richard Scarry and The Electric Company. Friendship bracelets were
ties you couldn't break and friendship pins went on shoes -
preferably hightop Velcro Reebox - and pegged jeans were in, as
were Units belts and layered socks and jean jackets and jams and
charm necklaces and side pony tails and just tails. Rave was a
girl's best friend; braces with colored rubber bands made you cool.
The back door was always open and Mom served only red Kool-Aid to
the neighborhood kids-who never drank New Coke. Entertainment was
cheap and lasted for hours. All you needed to be a princess was
high heels and an apron; the Sit'n'Spin always made you dizzy
but never made you stop; Pogoballs were dangerous weapons and Chinese
Jump Ropes never failed to trip someone. :^) In your Underoos you
were Wonder Woman or SpiderMan or R2D2 and in your treehouse you
were king. In the Eighties, nothing was wrong. Did you know the
president was shot? Star Wars was not only a movie. Did you ever
play in a bomb shelter? Did you see the Challenger explode or
feed the homeless man? We forgot Vietnam and watched Tiananemen
Square on CNN and bought pieces of the Berlin Wall at the store.
AIDS was not the number one killer in the United States. We
didn't start the fire, Billy Joel. In the Eighties, we redefined
the American / Canadian? Dream, and those years defined us. We
are the generation in between strife and facing strife and not
turning our backs.
The Eighties may have made us idealistic, but it's that idealism
that will push us and be passed on to our children - the first
children of the twenty-first century. Never forget: We are the
children of the Eighties.
If you're over the age of 22 you will enjoy this...
When I was a kid adults used to bore me to tears with their tedious diatribes about how hard things were when they were growing up; what with walking twenty-five miles to school every morning uphill both ways through year 'round blizzards carrying their younger siblings on their backs too their one-room schoolhouse where they maintained a
Straight-A average despite their full-time after-school job at the local textile mill where they worked for 35 cents an hour just to help keep their family from starving to death.
And I remember promising myself that when I grew up there was no way in hell I was going to lay a bunch of crap like that on kids about how hard I had it and how easy they've got it.
But... now that I've reached the ripe old age of twenty-nine, I just can't help but look around and notice the youth of today. You've got it so friggin' easy. I mean, compared to my childhood, you live in a damned Utopia. And I hate to say it but you kids today you don't know how good you've got it. I mean, when I was a kid we didn't have the Internet -- we wanted to know something, we had to go to the library and look it up ourselves!
And there was no email. We had to actually write somebody a letter--with a pen.And then you had to walk all the way across the street and put it in the friggin' mailbox and it would take like a week to get there. And there were no MP3s or Napsters. You wanted to steal music, you had to go to the goddamned record store and shop lift it yourself. Or we had to wait around all day to tape it off the radio and the DJ'd usually talk over the begining and screw it all up.
We didn't have fancy stuff like Call Waiting. If you were on the phone and somebody else called they got a busy signal. And we didn't have fancy Caller ID Boxes either. When the phone rang, you had no idea who it was it could be your boss, your mom, a collections agent, your drug dealer, you didn't know... you just had to pick it up and take your chances mister. And we didn't have any fancy Sony Playstation videogames with high-resolution 3-D graphics. We had the Atari 2600. With games like "Space Invaders" and "Asteroids" and the graphics sucked ass. Your guy was a little square. You had to use your imagination. And there were no multiple levels or screens, it was just one screen forever. And you could never win, the game just kept getting harder and faster until you died. Just like LIFE~!
When you went to the movie theatre there no such thing as stadium seating. All the seats were the same height. A tall guy sat in front of you, you were screwed. And sure, we had cable television, but back then that was only like 20 channels and there was no onscreen menu. You had to use a little book called a TV Guide to find out what was on. And there was no Cartoon Network. You could only get cartoons on Saturday morning...
D'ya hear what the hell I AM SAYING??? We had to wait ALL WEEK, you spoiled little bastards! That's exactly what I'm talking about.
You kids today have got it too easy. You're spoiled, I swear to God. You guys wouldn't last five minutes back in 1984.
....if this is all too familiar to you , then please pass it on!
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