21. Hey!? Can you give me another one of those full body cavity searches?

20. Hey! Is that a 9mm? Oh, that's nothing compared to this .44 magnum!

19. Well, when I reached down to pick up my bag of crack, my gun fell off my lap and got lodged between the brake pedal and the gas pedal, forcing me to speed out of control.

18. What do you mean, "Have I been drinking?" You're the trained specialist!

17. I was trying to keep up with traffic.Yes, I know there is no other car around - that's how far ahead of me they are.

16. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.

15. Gee, Officer! That's terrific! The last officer only gave me a warning, too!

14. So, uh, you on the take, or what?

13. I pay your salary!

12. Is it true that people become cops because they are too dumb to work at McDonalds?

11. Wow, you look just like the guy in the picture on my girlfriend's nightstand.

10. Didn't I see you get your butt kicked on Cops?

9. Gee, that gut sure doesn't inspire confidence.

8. You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?

7. Bad COP! NO donut!

6. I was going to be a cop, but I decided to finish high school instead.

5. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer.

4. Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me! Good job!

3. Aren't you the guy from the Village People?

2. Sorry Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.

1. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer.

And one more thing you should NEVER say:

Search Me! I might have something on me!