Shit
Shit is a powerful word. Just think of all the concepts and ideas
you can communicate with it. Shit may just be the most powerful
word in the English language.
Consider: You can be shit faced, be shit out of luck, or have shit
for brains. With a little effort you can get your shit together,
find a place for your shit or decide to shit or get off the pot.
You can smoke shit, buy shit, sell shit, lose shit, find shit,
forget shit, and tell others to eat shit and die.
You can shit or go blind, have a shit fit or just shit your life
away. People can be shit headed, shit brained, shit blinded, and
shit over. Some people know their shit while others can't tell
the difference between shit and shineola.
There are lucky shits, dumb shits, crazy shits, and sweet shits.
There is bull shit, dog shit, cat shit, bird shit, whale shit,
rat shit, and horse shit. There is tough shit, hard shit, soft
shit, slimy shit, rough shit, limp shit. You can shit a blue
streak, shit bricks, shit pink twinkies, shit marbles, or shit
your guts out.
You can throw shit, sling shit, catch shit, or duck when the shit
hits the fan. You can take a shit, give a shit, keep shit or serve
shit on a shingle. You can find yourself in deep shit, or be
happier than a pig in shit.
Some days are colder than shit, some days are hotter than shit,
and some days are just plane shitty. There is funny shit and sad
shit, bad shit and good shit. Some shit doesn't stink while other
things really smell like shit.
Some music sounds like shit, things can look like shit, and there
are times when you feel like shit. You can be faster than shit
or you can be slower than shit. Sometimes you'll find shit on a
stick, sometimes you'll find shit everywhere, and then there are
times when you can't find shit at all.
You can have too much shit, not enough shit, the right shit, the
wrong shit or a lot of weird shit. Some people are in real fruity
shit.
You can carry shit in a bucket, put shit in a barrel, have a pile
of shit, have a mountain of shit, have a river of shit, or find
yourself up shit creek without a paddle. You can slice shit,
spread shit, dunk shit or jump shit, and some people just can't
cut the shit.
There is fun shit and dull shit, silly shit and serious shit.
Sometimes you really need this shit and sometimes you don't want
any shit at all. You can stir shit, kick shit or stick your ass
out the window and shit on the world. Sometimes everything you
touch turns to shit and other times you swim in a lake of shit
and come out smelling like a rose.
Shit! When you stop to consider all the facts, it's the basic
building block of creation. This means the universe did not
begin with a BIG BANG but rather with a BIG DUMP. Keep that in
mind the next time you flush the toilet. And remember, once you
know your shit, you don't need to know anything else.
Giveth me the Schitts!!
Many people are at a loss for a response when someone says "you don't know Jack Schitt".
Now, You can handle the situation.
Jack is the only son of Awe Schitt and O. Schitt. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married O.
Schitt, the owner of Knee-deep Schitt, Inc.
In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt and the deeply religious couple produced 6 children:
Holie Schitt, The twins; Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Giva Schitt and Bull Schitt, a
high school dropout.
After being married for 15 years Jack and Noe divorced. Noe later married Mr Sherlock and
because her kids were living with them, she wanted to keep her previous name. She was
known as Noe Schitt-Sherlock.
Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt and they produced a cowardly son, Chicken Schitt. Fulla Schitt
and Giva Schitt were inseparable throughout childhood and consequently, married the
Happens brothers in dual ceremony.
The Schitt-Happens children are Dawg, Byrd and Horse. Bull Schitt the prodigal son, left
home to tour the world. He recently returned with his new bride, Pisa Schitt.
Now, when someone say's you don't know Jack Schitt, you can correct them.
More Shit...
AH-AAAAAHHH, AH-AHHHHH, AH-AAAAAHHHH
SOME SIMPLE WORDS
Shit.
Shit head.
Shit from Shinola.
Shit eatin' grin (whoever thought of that was sick).
Shit disturber.
Shit face.
Goofy shit.
Bag of shit.
Full of shit.
Shit in a handbag.
Shinny shit.
I don't take that shit.
Good, cause I don't give any.
I can't cut that shit.
Shit on a stick (ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwww)!
Look, a new car: the 1998 piece of shit!
How come they always say "take a shit." Cause you don't really
take it, you leave it.
