Letter from God...
God on Oral Sex...
After having been commissioned by God to take a survey of how man was doing on Earth, St. Peter now stood before his boss ready to present his findings. "Tell me, St. Peter, what have you found out?" God asked.
"I'm very sorry to have to tell you this, but the people are behaving in a sinful manner. There's drugs, alcohol, murders, you name it-a regular Sodom and Gomorra. But the worst is this new obsession with oral sex. According to my survey, 88% of the population is doing it. I'm afraid it has reached epidemic proportions.
"Hmmm," God said thoughtfully, "do you have any recommendations as to what should be done to put an end to this sexual perversion?"
"I think we should send a message to everyone on Earth who engages in oral sex. The contents of that message should tell them exactly what will happen to them on Judgment Day if they do not stop this type of activity." Replied St. Peter.
"That is an effective solution," God stated, "but I think that instead of punishing those who practice oral sex, we should reward those who refrain from it. Let's send a letter that's personally signed by me to each one of these good people."
And so they did.
Do you know what the letter said? Just scroll down and you'll find out...
(yes. just keep scrolling down)
(That's good. You know how to follow instructions. Keep scrolling)
No? You don't know what it said???? Are you sure???
(then keep scrolling down, and you’ll find out...)
(scroll down a little more...)
(Just a little more...)
Are you sure you don’t know?
(Honestly?)
(Keep scrolling)
(Just a little more, I promise...)
(Honestly this time - just a little more...)
(Ok, very soon now)
(I promise, very soon.. Keep scrolling - and don’t cheat by going CTRL+END because you’ll just have to scroll back up)
(Ok.... soon)
(You are very patient)
(I like patience, and I'm sure God does too.)
(I'm single you know. If you wanna go out sometime, e-mail me at steveleenow@yahoo.com )
(Ugly people need not write. Well you can, but don't expect to date me. And if you think you're ugly, that doesn't mean you are. You may just have low self esteem. I have a few friends who have low self esteem and think they are unattractive but they are really very hot. So e-mail me anyway, we can work through this stuff.)
(Oh right, the answer - what the letter said - just keep scrolling....)
(Ok here it is....)
(Honestly)
(Ok here it is...)
Hmmm... I don’t know what it said... because I didn’t get the letter. And I’m guessing that because you scrolled all the way down (or up) to this point, that you didn't get the letter either, huh??
Damn.
Oh well. This was kinda anti-climatic wasn't it?
Hmmmm.
Oh well.
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