Knock-Knock.
Who's there?
Hearsay.
Hearsay who?
Hearsay LOT of knock-knock jokes for you.

Knock-Knock.
Who’s there?
Police.
Police who?
Police let me in it’s cold out here.

Knock-knock.
Who’s there?
Guess.
Guess who?
It’s you who is supposed to be guessing, not me!

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Nicholas.
Nicholas who?
Nicholas half as much as a dime.

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Amos.
Amos who?
Amos quito bit me!

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Walter.
Walter who?
Walter wall carpeting.

Knock-knock.
Who’s there?
Wendy.
Wendy Who?
Wendy Red Robin goes Bob, Bob, Bobbing along.

Knock-knock.
Who's there?
I'm a cowboy, Ya!
I'm a cowboy, Ya-who!

Knock-knock.
Who's there?
Banana.
Banana who?
Banana split.

Knock-knock.
Who's there?
Apple.
Apple who?
Apple pie.

Knock-knock.
Who’s there?
Typhoo.
Typhoo who?
Tyhoo tea.

Knock-knock.
Who’s there!?
Les.
Les who?
Les go and play golf!

Knock-knock.
Who’s there?
Isabel
Isabel who?
Isabel better than all this knocking?!???

Knock-knock.
Who’s there?
A small boy who can’t reach the doorbell.

Tap-tap.
Who’s there?
Hurd.
Hurd who?
Hurd my hands so I couldn’t knock!

Knock-knock
Who's there?
Yo
Yo who?
Yo mamma!

Knock-knock
Who's there?
Banana.
Banana who?

Knock-Knock
Who's there?
Banana.
Banana who?

Knock, Knock
Who's there?
Banana.
Banana who?

Knock, Knock
Who's there?
Banana.
Banana who?

Knock, Knock
Who's there?
Banana.
Banana who?

Knock, Knock
Who's there?
Banana.
Banana who?

Knock, Knock
Who's there?
Banana.
Banana who?

Knock, Knock
Who's there?
Orange.
Orange who?
Orange ya glad I didn't say banana

Knock-knock.
Who's there?
Aherd.
Aherd who?
Aherd you were home, so I came over!

Knock-knock.
Who's there?
Amis.
Amis Who?
Amis is as good as a mile!

Knock-knock.
Who's there?
Despair.
Despair Who?
Despair tire is flat!

Knock-knock.
Who's there?
Radio.
Radio who?
Radio not, here I come!

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Doughnut.
Doughnut who?
Doughnut open until Christmas!

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Yule.
Yule who?
Yule come on down, ya hear??

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Pecan.
Pecan Who?
Pecan Someone your own size!

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Polly Warner.
Polly Warner who?
Polly Warner cracker?

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Nixon.
Nixon who?
Nixon stones will break my bones, but names will never hurt me!

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Sarah.
Sarah who?
Sarah doctor in the house?

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Wendy.
Wendy who?
Wendy moon comes over the mountain.

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Lionel.
Lionel who?
Lionel roar if you don't feed it.

Knock-knock.
Who's there?
Doctor.
Doctor who?
Uh, no, that show was canceled a long time ago.

Knock-knock.
Who's there?
Hoo.
Hoo who?
What are you, an owl?

Knock-knock.
Who's there?
Ya.
Ya who?
Oh, so you're a cowboy now.

Knock-knock.
Who's there?
A little old lady
A little old lady who?
Ouch! You need some more yodelling lessons...

Knock-knock.
Who's there?
Interrupting cow.
Interrupt--
MOO!

Knock-knock.
Who's there?
Amy Fisher.
Amy Fis--
BANG!

And Now, Some Retorts for When You're Just Not in the Mood...

Knock-knock.
Nobody's home.

Knock-knock.
We don't want any.

Knock-knock.
Whose house is this?
Uhhh... mine?
Then you get the door.

The absolute best (and most effective) retort:

Knock-knock.
(Here's where you punch him/her/it in the throat.)

Uhhh, ok.......

Knock-knock
Who’s there?
Ivor
Ivor who?
Ivor you let me in or I’ll climb in through the window.

Knock-knock
Who’s there?
Sabrina.
Sabrina who?
Sabrina long time since I saw you last.

Knock-knock.
Who’s there?
Dismay.
Dismay who?
Dismay surprise you but it's only a joke.

Knock-knock.
Who’s there?
Cook.
Cook who?
That’s the first one I’ve heard this year.

Knock-knock.
Who’s there?
Tish.
Tish who?
Bless you.

Knock-knock.
Who’s there?
Snow.
Snow who?
Snow good asking me.

Knock-knock.
Who’s there?
Scott.
Scott who?
Scott nothing to do with you!

Knock-knock.
Who’s there?
Harry.
Harry who?
Harry up and open the door!

Knock-knock.
Who’s there?
Dummy.
Dummy who?
Dummy a favour and open the door!

Knock-knock.
Who’s there?
Alec.
Alec who?
Alec a nice cup of tea.

Knock-knock.
Who’s there?
Arthur.
Arthur Who? Arthur any cookies to eat?

Knock-knock.
Who’s there?
Andy.
Andy who?
Andy bit me again.

Knock-knock
Who’s there?
You.
You who? What are you so happy about?
Knock-knock.
Who’s there?
You.
You who?
You didn’t call me last night.

Knock-knock.
Who’s there?
Adolf.
Adolf who?
Adolf hit me indee dose dat’s why I’m talking dis way!

Knock-knock.
Who’s there?
Robin.
Robin who?
Robin you - so hand over your money!

Knock-knock.
Who’s there?
Eggbert
Eggbert who?
Eggbert no bacon thank you.

Knock-knock.
Who’s there?
Madam.
Madam who?
Madam finger is stuck in the keyhole!

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Phillip.
Phillip who?
Phillip the tub so I can take a bath.

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Sarah.
Sarah who?
Sarah doctor in the house?

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Arthur.
Arthur who?
Arthur mometer is broken.

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Isabel.
Isabel who?
Isabel out of order?

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Dexter.
Dexter who?
Dexter halls with boughs of holly.

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Lettuce.
Lettuce who?
Lettuce in, it's cold outside!

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Tarzan.
Tarzan who?
Tarzan stripes forever.

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Della.
Della who?
Della Catessen.

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Isadore.
Isadore who?
Isadore locked? Let me in.

Knock knock.
Who's there?
Carl.
Carl who?
Carl get you there faster than a bike.

Knock knock.
Who's there?
Sam and Janet.
Sam and Janet who?
(SINGS) Sam and Janet Evening!

???

Knock knock.
Who's there?
Fornication.
Fornication who?
Fornication like this you should wear a black tie.

Knock knock.
Who's there?
Amarillo. Amarillo who?
Amarillo-fashioned cowboy.

Knock knock.
Who's there?
Euripides.
Euripides who?
Euripides pants I breaka your face.

Knock knock.
Who's there?
Justin.
Justin who?
Justin time for supper.

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Diploma.
Diploma who?
Diploma is here to fix the sink.

Knock, Knock.
Who's there?
Ida.
Ida Who?
Ida called first, but the phone's not working.

Knock! Knock!
Who's there?
Doris
Doris who?
Doris locked - that's why I knocked

Knock! Knock!
Who's there?
Isabel Isabel who?
Isabel broken? I had to knock!

Knock! Knock!
Who's there?
Walrus
Walrus who?
Why you Walrus ask silly questions?

Knock! Knock!
Who's there?
Boo
Boo who?
There's no need to cry, it's only a joke.

Knock! Knock!
Who's there?
A little old lady
A little old lady who?
I didn't know you could yodel!

Knock! Knock!
Who's there?
Waiter
Waiter who?
Waiter minute while I tie my shoelaces up.

Knock! Knock!
Who's there?
Granma.

Knock! Knock!
Who's there?
Granma.

Knock! Knock!
Who's there?
Granma.

Knock! Knock!
Who's there?
Aunt
Aunt who?
Aunt you glad Granma's gone?

Knock! Knock!
Who's there?
Ivor
Ivor who?
Ivor sore hand from knocking so much.

Knock! Knock!
Who's there?
York
York who?
York coming over to my place tonight?