Instructions for Use...
These statements were found on actual products. God help us all...
The instructions for a hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping.
On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner!
No purchase necessary. Details inside.
Directions for a bar of Dial Soap: Use like regular soap.
A Frozen dinner Serving suggestion: Defrost.
On a hotel-provided shower cap in a box: Fits one head.
On Tesco's Tirimisu dessert: Do not turn upside
down. (Printed on the bottom of the box)
On Marks & Spencer bread pudding: Product will be
hot after heating.
On packaging for a Rowenta iron: Do not iron clothes on body.
On Boots' (pharmacy chain in the UK) children's
cough medicine: Do not drive car or operate
machinery after use.
On a Nytol package: Warning: May cause drowsiness.
On a Korean kitchen knife: Warning: keep out of children.
On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights: For indoor
or outdoor use only.
On a Japanese food processor: Not to be used for
the other use.
On Sainsbury's peanuts: Warning: contains nuts.
On an American Airlines packet of nuts: Instructions:
open packet, eat nuts.
On a Swedish chainsaw: Do not attempt to stop chain
with your hands.