The Batman's Handy Snack

The Batman sat down onto the bench. He detached a small conical cylinder from his utility belt. It was a tin of beans. It had an E-Z pull zip-lid which quickly ripped open, allowing the hissing sound to fill the cement cell. The Dark Knight casually threw the lid to his side and reached back into his utility belt. He pulled out a small piece of metal which smoothly unfolded into a small spoon. And then the Batman ate.

"What's that, you're not eating are you!?" His cell mate had been observing the Caped Crusader's quiet actions with a keen eye.

"Yeah," the Batman answered, "Frank n' Beans."

"How can you -" The mate demanded, considering this situation to be not a time for eating.

But the Batman interrupted, "I can also choose, between this, fruit cups, pudding," as he continued between his spoon fills of beans. "which I don't care for - it sticks in the mouth to much, you know? Kinda like peanut butter, only sweeter. And they have those little cans of instant ready to eat soup, but soup should be warmed up, you know what I mean? I mean the soup can be eaten cold, it was meant to be eaten cold, but I like my soup to be warm. Know what I mean?"

"Oh yeah." The cell mate said, with an ounce of disbelief.

But by that time the Bat had finished the tin of Frank n' Beans.

"So what do you do with the stuff when your done, like that empty tin there."

"Actually." The Batman replied, staring at the tin, "I don't really know." The Batman looked around the empty cell. "Usually there's a garbage can around." He looks back at the tin. "And they don't store well on the utility belt once they've been opened and emptied." The Batman stood and then leaned over to stow the empty tin under his bunk. Cockroaches scurried from the dim light as the Batman lifted the mattress. "I don't think anyone will notice." Then the Batman winked at his cell mate. He folded the spoon up and attached it back into his belt.

Then the Batman's cell mate started to laugh. "Y-you don't ever reach to your belt there, looking for something while you're fighting, and end up pullin' out your spoon there or a can of food instead of somethin' else?"

"No." The Batman said firmly with a dirty look. The Batman then stood straight up, tilting his head to the ceiling and then gliding back towards the wall. He looked at the man sitting in the other bunk - "I'd get down, the Calvary's coming." The Bat then lifted his cape up over his head and rolled to the floor, as a loud explosion rocked the building and tore down their prison cell door. Smoke poured in as the room returned to silence. The Bat stood and helped the Cell Mate to his feet. "You're on your own now." The Batman said before disappearing into the smoky hall of the old Gotham city penitentiary.

Written By: Steven H. Lee © 1998-04