Cafeteria: From 2 Latin words, "cafe" meaning place to eat and "teria" meaning to wretch.

Major: Area of study that no longer interest you.

Student Athlete: See "contracdiction in terms."

Grade: Unrealistic and limited measure of academic accomplishment.

Summer School: A viable alternative to a summer job.

Quarter: The most coveted form of currency on campus.

Hunger: Condition produced by five minutes of continuous studying.

COLLEGE...

A college couple is under a tree on campus making out. After a while, the girl says, "I wish you had a flashlight." He says, "Why's that?" She says, "Because you've been eating grass for fifteen minutes."